


Midgard is Strange

by j_apollo



Series: Fills for Avengers-Land [3]
Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-03
Updated: 2012-06-03
Packaged: 2017-11-06 18:52:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/422027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_apollo/pseuds/j_apollo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A list of ten reasons supporting the aforementioned proposition as formulated by one Thor Odinson, Prince of Asgard</p>
            </blockquote>





	Midgard is Strange

1\. Food on Midgard is glorious, and each time he eats, he regrets that he does not have his brother’s silver tongue, for he wants to compose long odes in celebration of each morsel of food that passes his lips. Pop-tarts in particular should have innumerable odes composed in their honour, as they are a wonder only comparable to Idunn’s apples. 

2\. Not all food though, because what the humans call mead is most definitely not wondrous. The first time he saw the bottles of so-called mead on display in a supermarket, he brought bolts of lightning down in jubilation. The Man of Iron had bemusedly handed over a roll of cash to the thunderstruck manager, but Thor only had eyes for the mead. Unfortunately, the first taste was like ash in his mouth, rather than the honeyed sweetness he was expecting. 

3\. After his New Mexico encounter with what Hawkeye called a ‘pet store’ something he still did not entirely understand, he had been worried that there were no large animals on this planet. He is very glad to have been mistaken in this regard for the array of large animals spread across this world is inspiring, and he is having trouble deciding which animal to take as a mighty steed to ride into battle with. 

4\. He noticed that all the humans tended to talk to the animals they cohabited with, but the humans seemed not to completely understand when the animals spoke back. On many occasions he had seen humans training their canine companions to retrieve objects, but refusing to halt the training even when the canines asked to do so. His confusion was abated, when the Captain of America told him that humans couldn’t understand animals when they spoke. He now feels a small amount of sorrow that humans are denied the privilege of conversing with these wonderful creatures. 

5\. Humans are fascinating creatures, capable of great feats and yet there are many among them who subscribe to antiquated and intolerant ages. He found much solace with the Captain of America, who having been frozen for many years was as much a stranger to Midgard as Thor. On the day when gay marriage was legalised in California, the Captain had startled, and said in an awed tone something about how far things had come. That had led to a conversation about how in many places it was still a crime for men to lie with other men, a notion that utterly baffles Thor – love is love, how can the humans think to confine it so narrowly. 

6\. The range of clothes available for the people of Midgard is astonishing, as it should be since the humans have a strange fascination with being clothed at all times. In the mornings, Thor had traditionally taken his repast on the balcony of his chambers glorying in the feel of the crisp air on his bare skin. After he moved into the new Avengers Tower, he had continued this tradition, which had resulted in the Captain of America turning a most violent shade of red when he encountered Thor in the kitchen one morning. After that incident, the Man of Iron had explained the concept of pyjamas to him and given him a few sets of very comfortable pyjamas, his favourite is the simple white trousers with a depiction of Mjolnir on the front, and the phrase ‘Hammer Time’ on the back. 

7\. Television is a wondrous invention and one that he does not find strange, and as a result, Thor has become utterly absorbed by the lives of these fictional characters. However, ‘reality television’ as the deadly Black Widow had described the phenomenon whereby real people allow themselves to be filmed in any situation no matter how terrible, was utterly strange. At least in this he was not alone, as most members of the Avengers voiced similar thoughts. This did not mean that he didn’t watch this reality television, because it was more addictive than any entertainment he had ever found before, but at least he was not alone, the Black Widow could always be counted on to watch the newest episode of Storage Wars with him. 

8\. In the final battle against his brother, Thor had been happy to see that his shield brothers and sisters fought with honour and faced their enemies directly. He had seen the Man of Iron fly into the portal with a strange device of war on his back, but it was only later that he found that the true purpose of the war device had been to eradicate all who were in the fairest city of New York. The good Captain Fury had spent several hours explaining to him how battle was now conducted, and it sickened him that people were able to commit such atrocities with little punishment. 

9\. Doctor Banner, when he is not large and green, helps him understand the glittering square the Man of Iron had thrust into his hands with little explanation. The square is apparently a ‘tablet’ and with it, Thor can accomplish many things, not least of which is accessing the Internet as Doctor Banner calls the repository of knowledge. The Internet contains much information including pictures and videos of tiny animals falling over, pictures of his fellow Avengers in various states of dress, ridiculous stories that purport to be about Thor’s history; but sadly, Google cannot tell him whether he and his brother will ever be family again. 

10\. The meaning that humans apply to certain words and phrases has confused him for many months now, and whenever he has mastered one expression, another arises to confuse him further. Just recently, the valiant Hawkeye had said in passing, “What’s up?”, and when Thor had replied, after looking up, “The ceiling”, Hawkeye had dissolved into helpless laughter. Apparently, it was a greeting of sorts, as Hawkeye had attested once he had stopped laughing, and had promptly offered his services should Thor need any explanations about Earth speech patterns. 

( _P.S: Midgard is certainly strange, but the Avengers, all in their own special ways make the strangeness surmountable)_


End file.
